Time, Please Be Friend With Me.

"time please be friend with me...i wanted make it started again.."

i don't know how this came out of my mind.
suddenly, i remind of the people i've hurt.
that's not a good feeling.
it suddenly re-flash in my mind when i was walking alone.
kinda normal for a human being, isn't?
well, i can't stopped it once they're recall.
sometimes it's help me a lot...
sometimes it's ruined my day...
it depends on which way i looked on it.
either positive or negative way.

hurt someone's feeling doesn't makes me feel better.
although they're my enemies,
people that i can't get along in my life.
no such thing like that.
even my family...
i love them very much.
but i do hurt them again and again.
what kind of daughter i am?
i'm not asking u,
it's my question to my self.

i'm almost ruined everything.
'thing' that my family had done...
'thing' they sacrificed for me...
'thing' i should appreciate more...
'thing' they gave me!
the 'THING' that i shouldn't waste it off.

they gave me a "LIFE"
the life that i should appreciate more.
the life that i should learned.
the life that i should colour.
the life that i should make it.....
more meaningful, enjoyable, cheerful, and memorable.

i'm so sorry abah.
i'm so sorry mama.
i'm very sorry kak auni.
n i'm very sorry abang sufi.
i don't meant to let u all down.
i don't meant to disappoint u.
it's all my fault. MY FAULT!
i'm blind in awake.
i'm deaf in listen.
i'm dumb in speak.
i'm heartless in passion.

how i wish that i could started this all over again.
unfortunately,
the mistakes that i've done can't be undone.
same as what i gave...can't took it back.
what i took...i can't return it.

these stuff always make me think.
if i didn't make the mistake...
how could i improve my self
rather than make a reflection on it?

how i wish that i could started this all over again.
sadly,
i just can't.

well, now i'm in dizzy-mumbler-mind mood.
kind of a mind-disease.
lalala~~
one thing i want to do now is....
laugh on my mistakes
and carry on my life
with new direction!

firstly,
i want to apology to those people i've hurt...
i won't do it again.
in case i did,
tell me instantly...
give me a chance to get close to u
and let me know who u really are.

after all...
mistakes are the reason how-who-what we are, right now.

hurm...
enough for now...(i think)
my mind is elsewhere.

by the way...
i just love my self,
i love my beloved family,
and i love my lovely people in "U're In My List"
*wink2*