Guilt In Me

yeah

this is another post about someone that i loved and i care about

i just...

i felt the guilt is still in me.

i might have  forgot about that

yet it kind of haunting me

when i am not thinking about it

indeed!

it drives me crazy sometimes.

as i'm remember

this is the second [Amni, is it twice already??] time i've disappointed her.

well, that's mean something, Amni.

are you doing it on purpose or you just do it?

oh! man!!

i don't know!

it's A thing that i've been avoid from

but when it happened i just don't know

it JUST happen!

crap!

i think it some of punishment for me of something or whatever i have done previously.

(=_=)"

[sigh]

erm...let's not talk about... for now, please.

tonight, she will organized a "talk" and we are compulsory to attend it.

well,

i can say that most all of my friends don't want to go to

as we have planned to have a replacement class tonight.

two hours replacement and we have postponed it to this Thursday's night.

maybe some of them are tired of being forced to attend any events in this place.

i understand their feeling.

and i admit i'm sort of feeling the same.

but,

they cannot say it either

as a big family in this place

we have to support each other.

i'm not saying this because it IS an event that my love carried out

but it's kind of supporting one another., am i right?

plus,

i know how hard and stressed she was

working out this event.

as i also involved A BIT it this pre-pogression-program thingy.

i knew the pressure and stress thing because i felt it too.

i know how it was...

and i don't blame anyone for that.

i volunteer myself to help out

and i'm not regretting it.

i don't blame my friend

for not LIKING this event.

i know how they felt.

i don't know how to say this

but i'm kind of FEEL something that we're being a black sheep in this place.

especially our course.

nah...whoever knew us

i believed they'll instantly know what course we in.

for now.

let's remain still

cause i can't take it easy as this event hasn't done yet.

well,

we'll see it tonight at 8.

let's pray that other friends will show up and support this event

or else i know how she will feel after that.

that'll be disappointing, i guess.

or it could become a happy ending if everything will go smoothly.

well, let's pray for the best. [smile]

cause i'm kind of nervous here.

waiting for this program to start in 30+ minutes or something.

acting just like this program was mine

ironically it's not.

whatever, just pray EVERYTHING IS FINE and go according to what has been planned.

amin.

anyway,

good luck dear.

i'm always proud of you.