"Amni, just shut your mouth and think what u've had done."
my mind just keep playing these words again and again until i felt i wana vomit but i can't. after having hot conversation with coklat, n sharing of experiences n thought with group of BIG sisters, i found that i miss u badly. now i realize...(baru mau sedar..puih! pa punya org) i'm an egoist person. i duno how to show u my love towards u. how stupid i am.. n coz of this, i can't think of any else that i should. everything gone crazy. my head full of mess. sumtink that i shouldn't do now. everything looks CRAZY!!! sorry 4 being a selfish person to u. i don't know how to treat u as well as u should. sorry, although u're already told me that u love me, but i still hurt ur feeling. so sorry. i didn't mean to.. coklat n BIG sisters had taught me sumtink today... sumtin' tat i can't express wit words but can only understand wit heart.. i thank u for the love that u always give me, i confuse wit my feeling now. i shouldn't do tat to u..i'm not fair wit u. oh!please la my heart...a person that already love u for the way u are is already there. right beside u, but u still didn't noticed the person... wathefish o u amni!!
its done. im already sick of myself..coklat makes me realized how bad i am towards u..u're one of my fren, special fren.very special one in my heart.but i treat u like no one...i know u're disappointed wit me...i know that... i'm truly sorry...i feel like my nerve wana talk to u every second n every breathe i did. indeed! i remember all of the moments that we've shared till i cried... i miss u badly... now i realized, i don't need any guy to cheer me up like b4. i don't need them...everything gona b fine if i don't burdening my heart n feeling n mind with these stuff...
but, first of all... i can't refused my heart to like anyone... i am so sorry... it's my intuition to like anyone i like..i'm a human being dear...i can't refused. sometimes i just wan u to b here right beside me so that i can c u, talk to u, hear ur voice, c ur smile, c u laugh, n c u sing 4 me...i really missed u... i missed u till i cried dear... u never know that... many times dear... i cried till heart out.. but no one knows it. i kept it in the deepest bath in my heart.. sometimes i can't think of anything just bcoz of u... u're so far away from me dear... we haven't contact for a long tym.. i missed u already.. i missed u. wish u were here in front of me so that i can feel ur warm.. i missed to look on ur eyes...it show me sumtink that i like about u... sumtink that i can't c on your appearance.
n now i duno wat shud i say here...i still can't figure out my feeling now...mess is everywhere in my head...will crack if i didn't cool it down instantly... well i think before i write 'rubbish' here..better i stop to write...
last words...
I MISS N LOVE U FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
lots of love,
amni.
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